Brain Dump

 I'm not sure that this will be a terribly coherent blog post, but there are a few things I wanted to share, so I thought I would put them all together here.

First of all, an update on my current shopping ban - it's not going too badly. Have I been perfect? No. I have granted myself some loopholes here and there, generally where I've been visiting different places, and of course I have had to replace some items that have worn out. But I'm at 200+ days, and have spent less on clothes, books and cosmetics so far than I have at any point in the previous four years. I'm happy with the way things are going.

One thing that's made a difference this year is that, as I mentioned before, I have been attending therapy to address a traumatic period in my life when I was young. It's not exactly been what I expected - I thought I would be lying on a couch intellectually analysing my feelings in nitty-gritty detail, but actually it's been really frustrating and intense because I haven't been able to think my way through it, which is my default way of doing things. It's the first time I think I've really had an inkling of the power of the subconscious and also how the body stores trauma; my conscious thoughts are just the tip of the iceberg, which has been alarming and humbling but also pretty awesome. I don't know how much my past trauma has led to my difficulties with overspending, but I do suspect it's at least one large contributing factor.

I've also been embracing my inner space cadet this year. I've developed a morning routine that includes yoga, earthing, time at my altar, and tapping (so far my yoga practice has been pretty much a daily thing this year, and I'm seeing differences in my strength and flexibility physically as well as mentally). Full disclosure, I felt a bit daft embracing more esoteric practices, as I was raised in a very sceptical, atheist family, but giving myself permission to try things out and risk being the butt of one or two jokes has been worth it! I did a free online retreat earlier this month that involved loads of workshops, and discovered Tap With Brad. My therapist had already recommended that I try EFT so it was very timely, and I was pleased to find some specific videos for bad habits, addictive behaviours (my husband jokes that he gave up smoking easier than I've been able to cut down shopping), and even shopping specifically - linked in case anyone else might find it helpful!

I have found that since I started working on myself as part of the original shopping ban, my confidence has grown year on year, and I'm feeling happier and more comfortable in myself, so I do hope that trajectory continues!

That said, I have been struggling to slow down this year. Social media and random internet browsing remains a problem for me, as for many people in our hyper-connected, productivity-driven society, but I rarely shop online now unless I need something specific, so that's an improvement. But I'm still looking to free up some time and headspace, and I'll be working on that. 

Otherwise, this is just an intensely busy year - two of my best friends are getting married, so I'm a bridesmaid twice within a fortnight at opposite ends of the country. My other best friend is also expecting a baby (soon!) so I'm hosting and planning her shower. There are also lots more big birthdays, parties, hen dos and other events than usual - I actually don't have a free weekend between now and October, which is really strange for this self-professed hermit. So I've just had to accept that this will be a more high-energy year, and normal service can resume on the other side.

I also had a weird couple of months where I became completely fixated on losing weight, and I'm glad I was seeing a therapist at the time because I think it could have quickly have spiralled into a pretty bad place. As it was, I dramatically quit my slimming club (I know, don't ask) and posed for a nude portrait in the same week, which was hilarious and slightly surreal. The whole experience definitely contributed to this feeling that the year hasn't been the introspective, contemplative time I was planning/anticipating.

On the plus side, I was invited to a local Pagan moot, and although I've only managed to attend once so far because of childcare issues, I've really enjoyed being more active in the local community and making spirituality a bigger focus.

A lot of people I've met at book events have been asking about a second book. My friend Topaz and I have been noodling around on something together, but as I'm now a full-time carer for a family member and she's working, it's slow going. I'm also thinking about different ways to put a possible book two out into the world - I have really enjoyed working with Moon Books on The Anti-consumerist Druid, and it's reached a much wider audience than I could have achieved alone, but as a deeply shy and introverted person I've found a lot of the promo work very anxiety-provoking. So - just brainstorming here - if I wrote anything new, would you be interested? And if so, would you download it from Ko-Fi, or would you prefer a physical book, maybe from a print-on-demand service like Lulu?

I'd also like to finally get round to working on some fiction again, but - please let me know this is a universal problem or a me thing - I'm still finding that all this shopping and browsing and instagramming seems to have really atrophied my imagination. I even find daydreaming a struggle. I'm hoping that eventually, when I can carve out the time, a few months of wandering in the woods, sans phone, and reading poetry, will reset me a bit!

I think that's everything I wanted to say! I apologise for the very sporadic, unstructured nature of this blog currently, thank you very much if you're still here reading.

BOOK LAUNCH TOMORROW

It's finally here!

The product of several journals, a collection of sleepless nights, a sockful of baby naps, a frustration of footnotes, a great deal of anxiety and the odd meltdown or two...

My first published book, The Anti-consumerist Druid, officially launches tomorrow.

Click here to see more on the publisher's website.

I've also been popping up in various places around the Internet ahead of the launch - I had an interview with ev0ke magazine this month, which you can read here, and over here with Musing Mystical, to chat about the book.

Here are a few of my favourite comments from reviewers and readers so far:

 "From the start I was drawn in by Townsend’s friendly tone and nonjudgmental style. She showed her own failings and made it clear that it is normal to be drawn into the cycle of consumerism in our modern lives. Her story is probably at least a little familiar to most of us.

Her struggles are so relatable. Her honesty is refreshing.

The second part of the book about connecting with nature and magic was also something that resonated with me. One thing that really hit home for me was to create instead of consume. In an era where we seem to be expected to monetise our hobbies, Townsend talks about creativity as part of life not just as an identity or for profit.

The Anti-consumerist Druid is a book that reminds us to embrace creativity and mindfulness over consumerism. To simply do creative things and embrace the everyday joys that life has to offer.

Personally, I think this book has inspired me to be more mindful of what I consume and how it affects me and those around me. It has reminded me of the importance of real connection and to become the person we want instead of just trying to build a personality through consumption and social media." Laura Morrigan

 "Katrina Townsend's experience of navigating from a consumerist world into one that enters the realms of spirituality is beautifully expressed in this book. Her writing is open and honest, humorous and thought-provoking and takes you along the journey to where one can find peace in both the self and the world. It's an ongoing process, as she demonstrates so well in this book, of reviewing and reflecting upon one's habits and, for some, addiction, and being able to come out with a real sense of breaking the cycle of wanting more, through learning to love what you have. In this we find spirituality, expressed in this book through the tradition of Druidry and its love of nature which guides us to live our lives according to that love. I highly recommend this book to everyone, Druids and Pagans, and people of all faiths and none." Joanna van der Hoeven

"Katrina Townsend's journey from hedonistic consumerism to a deep communion with nature makes for a fascinating and compelling read. She writes with engaging honesty as well as humour, delving into the wisdom and magic of our Celtic past to find her own truth in the modern world. Her story will resonate with anyone who has found solace in walking England's green lanes, or glimpsed an older reality in the contours of hill and hedgerow." Jill Todd

 "Katrina Townsend has written a really important book that explores – based on her own experience – what consumer culture does to a person. She shares her experiences of compulsive shopping, social media addiction and the way all of this eroded her sense of self. Furthermore she does so without falling into the kind of judgemental puritanism you can find in the newly converted, and also avoids self pity or anything that seems self indulgent. It’s an impressive balancing act and makes the book exceedingly readable." Nimue Brown

100th Post: What's Next?

So this is my 100th blog post on Katrina, Consumed! I must admit, it doesn't feel like I've been cranking out a weekly post for almost two years now (whaaat?). I never really had a plan in place for this little space on the web, and to be honest I still don't, but I really enjoy being able to discuss and delve into some of the thoughts and topics that have come up for me whilst I've been trying to get a grip on my shopping habit. I never expected to have so much to say about it, but I love being able to share with you (even the embarrassing and not-so-flattering moments), and I'm grateful to you for reading these words and for being here. Thank you!

After my successful No-Buy July, I feel buoyed up to take on the next challenge. I've completed several successful no-buy months now - but the full year remains elusive. However, knowing I can do a month at a time with very little difficulty has encouraged me to look at the challenge differently. I decided to tackle each month as its own entity - of course, completing twelve no-buy months in a row would equal one no-buy year, but even if I didn't succeed in that challenge, there were other wins I could achieve. Four no-buy months consecutively would be a new personal best, for example. Or if I managed to complete every other month, that would be an improvement over previous years and probably help me rein in my wayward annual expenditure.

Dai had suggested that in 2023, rather than aim for a full no-buy year, which he thinks is impossible for me, or aiming to spend half the previous year's totals, as I did this year, to set my budgets at 1/3 of this year's spend. That way, even if I go over budget like I did this year, my overall spend would still drop. I think this is a good mindset to go forward with, but having achieved that No-Buy July (and No-Buy August, I'll be talking about that next week) with relative ease, I'm tempted to see if I can carry on from here for as long as I can (breaking it into those one-month chunks). If I did complete the full year, I would then be able to shop again just in time for next year's Pembrokeshire trip, when I could stock up on any replacement items I might need from my favourite sustainable shop in St David's. Although, perhaps the fact that I'm already looking past the finish line to the next shopping opportunity is not the best sign...

Alternatively, I've started kicking around the idea of setting myself a small monthly budget next year for thrifted books and clothes or eco cosmetics, in keeping with the idea I read about of giving oneself a gift, and also because I'm feeling really good and a lot more confident than I have in a while, and I'm thinking I'd really like to experiment with different types of clothes, more skirts and dresses, different silhouettes from what I'm used to. I have a lot of loose fitting t-shirts, lots of jeans and patterned harem pants, but only a handful of skirts and dresses and few other styles of top. If I thrifted one or two pieces a month, I could try out some new things but still keep my annual budget wayyyyy down from what it was this year. I also really enjoy the uniqueness of the items you can find in second-hand shops, to my mind it's much more creative and playful to build a second-hand look than to just buy an outfit from a fast fashion store. Basically, I want to play!

I think probably my best bet is to carry on as I have been, taking it a month at a time and seeing how I feel and what I need (that's actual needs, as in when things are worn out or don't fit any more, not 'oh I need a treat'), and being creative with the things I already own.

I'm heartened by how well I've been doing - the biggest and most noticeable shift is that I haven't really felt like I've even been doing a shopping ban, my attention overall has just moved away from consuming. This has led me to start thinking about what else I can do next - I'm thinking about reducing our household waste, trying to eat more locally and sustainably, and learning more in general about greener living and changes we can make to be more eco-friendly, frugal and self-sufficient.

There is so much information out there about this already, so many different ways to try to be sustainable, and so many ways to fail at being sustainable, that it's really always felt a bit overwhelming up until now. We've made a few small changes as a family, but now I'm finally in a place (and I hate to link everything back to shopping, but I do think that untangling myself from that consumeristic mindset makes this a lot easier) where I can see what to do next. It's also helped that I've been following the work of sustainability influencers like Gittemarie Johansen, who stress effort over perfection, and practicality and realism over aesthetics, and also - simply put - aren't quite as intimidating as some of the zero waste hardliners I've come across before.

I appreciate that individual change, in and of itself, won't and can't change the world. But as a Pagan, and a person who loves the Earth, I feel like this is a path I need to continue to take to bring my way of living more in line with my beliefs and personal values.

It's also worth mentioning that I have seen great personal benefits since I started this journey in 2019 - trying to reduce my consumption has made me happier, calmer, more confident, it has helped me achieve some of my lifelong goals, and I honestly feel it has even positively affected my relationships and my health. Pausing my excessive consumption was like dropping a stone into the centre of a pond, and the ripples have spread outwards throughout my entire life and being. If the attempt to simply shop less can bring this much change, growth and joy, what fresh change might be wrought by working on some other areas of my consumption and lifestyle? I can't wait to find out.

In other news, it was my birthday this week (I am thirty-one, which seems a little ridiculous to be honest!).

Also, some more advance reviews for my book (The Anti-consumerist Druid, available for pre-order now from all the usual suspects) have been appearing around the internet (and readers of Pagan Dawn magazine may have recently seen my article The Anti-Consumerist Pagan in the Lammas issue, available here. It's a three-page spread, which I did a little happy dance about).

Publishers Weekly describe TACD as an "introspective debut": "Townsend’s trajectory from skeptic to believer makes this well suited for readers who might not be sold on paganism (she discusses her fear of “being too woo-woo”), and her discussion of how her druidism intersects with sustainable causes illustrates what the tradition has to offer modern practitioners. The result is a pensive pagan outing that will appeal to nonbelievers." Full review is here.

Saskia of Graveyard Picnic (who is also a DJ and therefore on my list of Very Cool People) says this: "Townsend’s writing style is inviting from the get-go. She comes across as friendly and non-judgmental and manages to dip her tales of woe into a healthy dose of humour. Her openness about not only the ups, but also the often overwhelming downs of her quest makes it virtually impossible not to sympathise with her. Despite the perhaps somewhat unconventional subject matter, there is nothing too woolly about Townsend’s prose. She comes across as delightfully down-to-earth and also provides insight into her own bouts of scepticism, making her all the more relatable." And also, "Townsend’s path may not be one-size-fits-all but it does offer far more nuance than your average self-help guide. It’s also a delightful read to boot." Full review here.

The release date for TACD is approaching fast; I can't wait to start seeing it on shelves!

MoonCon 2022: The Anti-consumerist Druid Book Chat

At the beginning of this month I was lucky enough to have a chat about my upcoming book with fellow Moon Books author Rachel Patterson, as part of the two-day free online event MoonCon. I was nervous (really nervous) as I'm much more of a writer than a talker, but in the end I actually really enjoyed myself! 

Turns out I'd written my notes so small that I couldn't read them (!) and I couldn't figure out how to see the live comments on my screen, but in the end I think I said 99% of what I had hoped to say and didn't utterly disgrace myself.

We covered all kinds of ground, such as consumption in the Pagan community, shopping bans, communication with goddesses and the importance of DIY. You can see the recording below - thank you to everyone who came along and watched live, and thank you Elena for your comments and support!

Laura Morrigan reviews The Anti-consumerist Druid

Woke up this morning to a lovely advance review of my book The Anti-consumerist Druid from blogger Laura Morrigan! 

It's a pretty in-depth review, and like me, Laura has a strong interest in quirky fashion and alternative lifestyles, as well as having had a similar outdoorsy childhood, so I was fascinated to read about her own experiences with consumerism and overshopping. 

I found it particularly interesting that Laura found the Cottagecore lifestyle driving some of her purchases, despite it being a lifestyle encouraging simple, natural living, because I often experience the same pull to purchase when looking at some of my favourite simple-living Instagrammers such as @folk_hattie and @along_the_hedgerow. Is it because the lifestyles are portrayed in a very strong visual manner on social media, so if we already have that susceptibility towards wanting to shop and to consume, our first tendency is to try to recreate those visual aspects we feel inspired by, rather than focusing on other facets such as activities or mindset? Is it something to do with the nature of the media itself? I definitely experience more desire to shop when I spend more time online.

But I'm getting side-tracked! I was delighted by Laura's review, which you can read here.

 

"The Anti-consumerist Druid is a book that helps identify issues and solve them in a more creative way. It reminds us “the panacea for shopping is not asceticism” and to embrace creativity and mindfulness over consumerism. To simply do creative things and embrace the everyday joys that life has to offer.

Like Townsend I find “I want to fill my life with the richness of doing, even if I’m not very good at everything I turn my hand to, rather than spending my days passively consuming what other people have made.”

Personally, I think this book has inspired me to be more mindful of what I consume and how it affects me and those around me. It has reminded me of the importance of real connection and to become the person we want  instead of just trying to build a personality through consumption and social media.

5 Stars." - Laura Morrigan

BOOK COVER REVEAL

I am so proud that I can at last show you the cover of my first book The Anti-consumerist Druid, which is being published by Moon Books and will hit shelves on 25.11.22. I'm absolutely delighted with the cover, I think the art is gorgeous and the Moon Books team have done a fantastic job.

From the back cover:

Many of us are coming to terms with the devastating global effects of overconsumption, and for me the desire to quit shopping has led me to explore Paganism, and then to Druidry!

This is not a book about Druidry. This is a book about how I stopped overconsumption consuming me, and on that journey discovered a connection with nature that led to me becoming a student of Druidry, and about how those beliefs and practices helped me to rebuild a more authentic, creative, enchanted life.

“Katrina Townsend's experience of navigating from a consumerist world into one that enters the realms of spirituality is beautifully expressed in this book. Her writing is open and honest, humorous and thought-provoking and takes you along the journey to where one can find peace in both the self and the world. It's an ongoing process, as she demonstrates so well, of reviewing and reflecting upon one's habits and, for some, addiction, and being able to come out with a real sense of breaking the cycle of wanting more through learning to love what you have. I highly recommend this book to everyone, Druids and Pagans, and people of all faiths and none," Joanna van der Hoeven, Director of Druid College and author of several books including The Book of Hedge Druidry, The Hedge Druid's Craft and The Way of Awen.